Learning to Feel Safe in Your Body Again

😔 When Your Body No Longer Feels Like Home

For many people living with chronic illness, trauma, or anxiety—especially those with MS—the body can stop feeling like a safe place.

Maybe your symptoms change without warning. Maybe pain shows up unexpectedly. Maybe your body betrayed you once through diagnosis or trauma, and now…you’re never quite at ease.

You might scan for danger constantly—heart rate, breathing, fatigue, tingling. You might dissociate. You might tense up before even knowing why. You might live more in your head than your body.

This isn’t failure. This is a nervous system trying to protect you.
But it comes at a cost: the exhaustion of never truly resting in yourself.

The good news? You can rebuild a sense of internal safety. You can come home to yourself again.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

🧠 Why We Lose the Feeling of Safety in Our Bodies

Feeling unsafe in your body is common—especially after:

Chronic pain
Medical trauma
Neurological symptoms (like MS flares, dizziness, fatigue, numbness)
Emotional trauma stored physically
Hypervigilance from anxiety or PTSD
Body shame or internalized stigma
Feeling out of control due to disease or dysregulation

When your body becomes the source of unpredictable sensations, discomfort, or vulnerability, your nervous system can begin to treat it like a threat.

It’s not your fault. It’s your biology doing its best to protect you. But safety is not a luxury—it’s a need.

And rebuilding it is possible.

🛑 Signs You Don’t Feel Safe in Your Body

You might notice:

Constant muscle tension or jaw clenching
Difficulty sleeping or relaxing
Distrust of bodily cues (hunger, pain, fatigue)
Disconnect from body sensations (numbness, dissociation)
Panic when physical symptoms appear
Over-monitoring every sensation
Feeling “on edge” even at rest
Avoiding mirrors or touch

You may also alternate between hyperarousal (fight/flight) and hypoarousal (freeze/shutdown).

🧭 Step 1: Understand That Safety is a Felt Sense—Not Just a Thought

You can’t just think your way to feeling safe.

You might tell yourself:

“I’m okay.”
“This isn’t dangerous.”
“I shouldn’t be afraid.”

But your nervous system needs felt experiences of safety—moments when the body registers, “I’m not in danger. I can let go.”

That’s where healing begins.

🪞 Step 2: Validate the Fear, Gently

Before you move into the body—you must first honor the fear around it.

Try saying:

“I see why I don’t trust my body. It’s been through so much.”
“Of course I’ve been afraid. That makes sense.”
“I don’t need to force myself. I can go slowly.”

Validation is the doorway to healing. You don’t have to bully yourself back into embodiment.

🧘 Step 3: Use Anchors That Feel Neutral or Good

Many people with trauma or illness can’t start with full body awareness. It’s too overwhelming. So start where the body feels safest.

Try:

Noticing the feeling of your feet on the floor
Touching a soft blanket or object
Placing a hand on your chest or belly
Splashing cold water on your face
Rocking gently or swaying
Listening to music while breathing

You're not trying to analyze the body—you’re simply giving it safe experiences of being in the moment.

🫂 Step 4: Reclaim Touch and Stillness

Touch can be grounding—but for some, it’s a trigger. So go at your pace. Try:

Rubbing lotion into your skin
Using weighted blankets
Placing your hand over your heart
Practicing slow, gentle self-hugs
Running warm water over your hands and focusing on sensation

Stillness can also be terrifying if your body has been a place of chaos. So begin with micro-moments of pause. A breath. A yawn. A stretch.

That’s enough.

🌀 Step 5: Move in Ways That Restore Trust

Movement helps the body discharge stress and rebuild connection.

But it doesn't have to be a workout.

Try:

Rocking side to side
Gentle yoga or tai chi
Walking barefoot on grass
Stretching with music
Dancing alone, with no performance

Move from curiosity, not control. Ask:

“What does my body want right now?”
“Can I follow my impulses gently?”

This fosters body listening, not just body management.

🧠 Step 6: Talk to Your Nervous System Like It’s a Friend

Your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s wise—and often overworked.

When fear arises, speak kindly:

“You’re trying to protect me. Thank you.”
“This sensation is intense, but it’s not dangerous.”
“I’m safe enough right now. You can soften.”

This tone of self-talk creates internal co-regulation—when one part of you comforts another.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

🌡️ Step 7: Reduce Over-Monitoring of Symptoms

Many people with MS or chronic illness fall into hypervigilance—checking their body all day long.

This makes sense. You’re trying to catch danger before it hits.
But it can create more anxiety than protection.

Strategies:

Schedule “check-ins” instead of constant scanning
Redirect your attention to something external (sight, sound, smell)
Journal symptoms once a day instead of in real time
Use grounding objects (a ring, a bracelet) to return to the present

Safety grows when we focus less on what’s wrong and more on what’s okay right now.

🫧 Step 8: Reframe What It Means to “Feel”

Feeling safe doesn’t mean “feeling good all the time.” It means:

You can tolerate what’s present
You don’t feel overwhelmed by the moment
You trust that sensations will pass
You don’t judge yourself for your state

You don’t need to become relaxed 100% of the time. You just need to know how to return to yourself with kindness.

🧠 Step 9: Explore Trauma-Informed Modalities (If Available)

For deeper disconnection, it can help to work with therapists trained in somatic approaches, such as:

Somatic Experiencing
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
Polyvagal-informed therapy
Body-based trauma work

These modalities respect the body’s story—not just the mind’s.

You deserve support that meets you where you are.

💡 Step 10: Rewrite the Body Narrative

You may have internalized the idea that your body is:

Defective
Shameful
Unreliable
Unworthy
Betraying you

Let’s rewrite that:

“My body is doing its best.”
“My body has survived so much.”
“My body is still here, still trying to heal.”
“My body deserves gentleness.”

Even if you don’t fully believe these yet, plant the seeds. Speak them softly and often.

🌿 Final Thoughts: Your Body Is Not the Enemy

Feeling safe in your body again is not about:

Erasing all symptoms
Feeling blissfully calm all day
Ignoring real pain or illness

It’s about shifting from hypervigilance to compassion. From fear to curiosity. From shutdown to connection.

Your body isn’t something you have to conquer—it’s something you can learn to befriend.

And that friendship can start with a breath, a moment, a soft hand on your heart.
No performance. No rush. Just presence.

You deserve to feel safe in your own skin again.
And that journey—however slow—is one of the most radical acts of healing you can choose.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

📚 References and Resources

Dana, Deb. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Levine, Peter A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Ogden, Pat, Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.

Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.

Maté, Gabor. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. Avery Publishing.

National Multiple Sclerosis Society. (n.d.). Managing Pain and Other Symptoms. Retrieved from https://www.nationalmssociety.org

The Mighty. (n.d.). Real Stories About Feeling Unsafe in Your Body. Retrieved from https://www.themighty.com

Heller, Laurence. (2012). Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship. North Atlantic Books.