Forgiveness, Closure, and Letting Go of the Past with MS

Introduction: MS Changes You—So Does the Past

Multiple sclerosis doesn’t just affect your body—it changes your life story. Diagnosis often arrives with emotional fallout: lost dreams, strained relationships, and anger at your body, your past, or the people who didn’t show up when you needed them.

As you try to adapt to life with MS, you may find that emotional weight from the past is holding you back more than your symptoms. The truth? Healing physically is only one part of the journey. Emotional healing—through forgiveness, closure, and letting go—is just as essential.

This article explores what it means to move forward emotionally with MS. We’ll break down the difference between forgiveness and closure, why holding on to old pain can worsen MS symptoms, and how to gently release the past so you can live more freely in the present.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

🔄 Why the Past Feels Heavier After Diagnosis

🎭 MS Can Trigger Past Wounds

When MS enters your life, it often reactivates old emotional wounds:

Childhood trauma or neglect
Medical gaslighting or being dismissed
Betrayals by friends, exes, or family
Fears of abandonment or being a burden

The vulnerability of illness often magnifies unresolved pain. You might find yourself ruminating more or feeling emotions you thought you’d moved past. That’s not regression—it’s resurfacing for healing.

⌛ Chronic Illness Reshapes Time

MS disrupts your expected life timeline. Plans are paused. Goals shift. And that can cause:

Regret about things you didn’t do before getting sick
Bitterness about how much time was “wasted”
Resentment toward people who contributed to stress, burnout, or illness

When your future becomes uncertain, the past can become a prison. Letting go isn’t forgetting—it’s making peace with the fact that you did your best with what you had.

🧬 Emotional Stress Worsens Symptoms

Research shows that chronic emotional stress fuels inflammation, increases pain perception, and worsens fatigue. Holding on to anger, shame, or resentment doesn’t just hurt your mind—it can aggravate your body.

Forgiveness and closure aren't luxuries. They're part of nervous system regulation, helping your immune system, energy, and emotions stabilize.

💔 What Does Forgiveness Really Mean?

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It’s not:

Letting people off the hook
Pretending it didn’t hurt
Reconnecting with toxic people

Instead, forgiveness means:

I refuse to let this pain have power over me anymore.

It’s a radical act of reclaiming your energy, your story, and your ability to move forward without the past dictating your present.

🧩 Understanding Closure: The Missing Piece

Closure is different from forgiveness. It’s the process of making sense of what happened—even if you never get an apology, explanation, or justice.

Sometimes closure comes from:

Journaling your side of the story
Speaking your truth to a therapist or friend
Writing (but not sending) a letter to someone who hurt you
Revisiting memories with a new perspective

With MS, closure often means accepting the before-and-after of your life story—without needing every question answered.

🌪️ The Emotional Blockages That Keep You Stuck

If you’re struggling to let go, you’re not alone. Common emotional blocks include:

😠 Anger at Your Body

You might feel betrayed by your own nervous system:

“Why did this happen to me?”
“Why can’t my body just cooperate?”
“I miss who I used to be.”

Forgiveness here doesn’t mean loving your symptoms. It means softening toward your body, acknowledging the pain, and slowly choosing partnership over punishment.

🧍Abandonment or Rejection by Others

MS often reveals who your true supporters are—and who disappears.

Maybe:

Friends faded when you became “too much”
Family dismissed your symptoms
Doctors ignored you before diagnosis

That pain is valid. But holding onto resentment can tether you to people who already left. Closure means saying: I didn’t deserve that—and I deserve better now.

💬 Guilt Over Past Choices

Many people with MS carry shame about:

Overworking themselves
Ignoring early symptoms
Choosing toxic relationships

The truth is: you did the best you could with the knowledge and tools you had. Compassionate self-forgiveness is key to moving forward with less emotional weight.

⏳ Grieving Lost Time and Potential

There may be dreams that now feel harder or impossible. That grief is real. But fixating on “what could’ve been” can rob you of the life still available to you now.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means making space for new possibilities—even if they look different from what you imagined.

🧘 How to Let Go: Steps Toward Emotional Freedom

Letting go isn’t a one-time act—it’s a daily practice. Here’s how to start.

💌 Name What You’re Holding

Get clear on what still hurts. Use prompts like:

I still feel angry about…
I wish they had…
I can’t forgive myself for…
The part of my story that feels unresolved is…

Naming the wound is the first step to healing it consciously.

✍️ Write a Letter You Don’t Send

This can be addressed to:

A parent, partner, friend, or doctor who hurt you
Your body
Your past self

Say everything you’ve wanted to say. Be raw. Be honest. Then decide what to do with it—rip it up, burn it (safely), or keep it in a journal. The power is in the expression, not the outcome.

🤲 Separate Accountability from Worth

Even if you made mistakes—you are still worthy of love, care, and peace.

You can hold yourself accountable and still forgive yourself.

You can acknowledge your pain and still choose joy.

You can release the past and still honor your experience.

🧠 Use Visualization to Cut Energetic Ties

Imagine the person, memory, or emotion that’s still draining you. Visualize:

Cutting a rope that connects you
Sending their energy back to them
Reclaiming your space

This kind of imagery helps your brain create emotional boundaries, even if the situation is unresolved.

🕊️ Practice Micro-Forgiveness

You don’t have to forgive everything all at once. Start with:

“I forgive myself for not knowing sooner.”
“I forgive my body for needing rest today.”
“I forgive them for not having the tools to support me.”

These small acts create emotional momentum—like letting go one stone at a time.

📖 Re-Write the Narrative

MS changes your story. But you still get to choose how that story evolves.

Try reframing:

From “My life fell apart” → to “My life cracked open”
From “I’ve lost so much” → to “I’m learning to live differently”
From “I was betrayed” → to “I’m building better boundaries now”

Narrative therapy shows that how we talk about our past shapes how we live in the present.

🛠️ Daily Practices to Support Letting Go

Letting go is more than mental—it’s physical, sensory, and emotional. Build rituals that anchor you in the present.

🌬️ Breathwork

Use techniques like:

Box breathing (Inhale 4 – Hold 4 – Exhale 4 – Hold 4)
4-7-8 breathing to relax before sleep
Long exhale-focused breathing to calm the vagus nerve

Want to try Breathwork? Click here.

🌳 Grounding

Reconnect to the here and now:

Sit with your feet on the floor and notice sensations
Hold a warm cup of tea
Spend time in nature, barefoot if possible

🎨 Expressive Art

Let your feelings move through you:

Scribble your emotions on paper
Paint or color with no goal
Dance to music that matches your mood

🧼 Symbolic Release

Try symbolic acts like:

Washing your hands after journaling about the past
Burning a piece of paper with an old memory on it (safely)
Placing stones or leaves in a river to represent what you’re releasing

🌱 What Forgiveness Is Not

Letting go doesn’t mean:

Forgetting what happened
Saying it didn’t matter
Letting people back into your life who haven’t changed

It means saying:

“I’m choosing peace, even without an apology.”

“I’m choosing to honor myself more than my pain.”

“I’m choosing to stop dragging the past into my present.”

💬 Real Talk: You’re Allowed to Feel Everything

Letting go doesn’t mean you’re not still grieving. You’re allowed to:

Feel angry and still move forward
Forgive someone but never speak to them again
Miss your old life and still build a beautiful new one

You are allowed to feel it all—and still create space for peace.

🧠 Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind—You’re Becoming

Living with MS means learning to live with paradox:

Grief and gratitude
Pain and presence
Loss and growth

Forgiveness and closure don’t erase your past. They rewrite your relationship with it. They allow you to show up for your life now—not just as a person with MS, but as a whole human with depth, complexity, and strength.

You’re not broken. You’re evolving.

You’re not weak for feeling stuck. You’re brave for choosing healing.

And you’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be to begin again.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

📚 References

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Toussaint, L. L., Worthington, E. L., & Williams, D. R. (2015). Forgiveness and health: A review and theoretical exploration of emotion pathways. In Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health (pp. 1–14). Springer. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9994-2_1

National Multiple Sclerosis Society. (2022). Emotional Health and MS. https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Living-Well-With-MS/Emotional-Wellness

Ajayi, S., & Mathers, S. (2021). The psychological experience of individuals with multiple sclerosis: A qualitative metasynthesis. Disability and Rehabilitation, 43(2), 223–234. https://doi.org/10.1080/09638288.2019.1628333

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Holzel, B. K., et al. (2011). How does mindfulness meditation work? Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual and neural perspective. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(6), 537–559. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691611419671

Worthington, E. L. Jr., & Scherer, M. (2004). Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risks and promote health resilience: Theory, review, and hypotheses. Psychology & Health, 19(3), 385–405. https://doi.org/10.1080/0887044042000196674

Pennebaker, J. W., & Chung, C. K. (2011). Expressive writing: Connections to physical and mental health. In The Oxford Handbook of Health Psychology. Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195342819.013.0022

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Avery.