The Emotional Rollercoaster of Relapses: How to Stay Grounded During Flare-Ups

Introduction

When you're living with multiple sclerosis (MS), relapses—also known as flare-ups or exacerbations—can come without warning, shaking the stability you've worked hard to build. These episodes can be physically debilitating, but the emotional consequences often go unnoticed. The frustration of losing progress, the fear of what symptoms mean for your future, and the grief of missing out on life’s moments can form a heavy emotional load.

This article is for you if you’ve ever felt emotionally overwhelmed during a relapse. We’ll walk through why relapses feel like an emotional rollercoaster, what science says about the psychological effects of MS exacerbations, and how you can stay emotionally grounded during these difficult times.

🎢 Why Relapses Trigger an Emotional Rollercoaster

Relapses don’t just affect the body—they hit the mind and heart just as hard. You might feel:

Panic or fear that your MS is worsening permanently.
Frustration or anger that your progress is slipping away.
Sadness or grief over missed plans or independence.
Shame or guilt for having to rely on others.

These emotional responses are entirely valid—and common.

MS is unpredictable by nature. That unpredictability alone creates chronic stress. When a relapse hits, it disrupts routines, relationships, and the fragile feeling of control you’ve managed to build. It can feel like being on a rollercoaster with no seatbelt: one moment you're managing fine, and the next you're spiraling into fear or hopelessness.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

🧠 What the Research Says: MS, Emotions, and Relapses

Research confirms that relapses increase the risk of psychological distress. A 2020 study published in Multiple Sclerosis Journal found that people who recently experienced a relapse reported significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression compared to those in remission.

Another study in Psychology & Health showed that the fear of future relapses can itself cause ongoing emotional strain, even when a person is currently stable.

It’s not just psychological, either. MS can physically affect areas of the brain that regulate mood and emotional response, such as the hippocampus and frontal lobe. That means some mood shifts are neurobiological—not just circumstantial.

Knowing that your emotional shifts are a real and normal part of MS—not a weakness—can help you approach them with more compassion and less self-blame.

🌧️ The Common Emotional Stages of a Flare-Up

Everyone processes relapse differently, but many people go through a cycle similar to grief. Here’s a rough outline of what that might look like:

Shock/Disbelief: “Is this really happening again?”
Anger: “I’ve been doing everything right—why now?”
Fear: “Will I recover from this one?”
Sadness/Grief: “I miss my energy. I miss my normal.”
Acceptance (sometimes): “Okay, this is where I’m at today.”

You might not go through all of these stages—or in that order. But recognizing that these reactions are normal can help you feel less alone.

🛠️ 10 Grounding Strategies for Staying Emotionally Resilient During a Relapse

1. Name What You’re Feeling 🧾

Give your emotions names: “I’m feeling angry,” “I’m scared this won’t pass,” “I feel lonely.” Labeling emotions has been shown to calm the brain's threat response and activate the rational part of your mind. It’s like turning on the light in a dark room.

2. Use a Daily Grounding Practice 🧘

Grounding techniques are simple ways to anchor yourself in the present moment. Try:

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
Breathwork: Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. Want to try breathwork? Click here.
Touch: Place your hand over your heart or hold something with texture.

These can help calm emotional overwhelm and bring your nervous system back to baseline.

3. Be Selective With What You Consume 📱

During a relapse, your mind is extra sensitive. Avoid consuming content that makes you feel worse. That might mean muting social media, skipping the news, or avoiding triggering discussions. Instead, opt for gentle shows, comforting music, or audiobooks that uplift you.

4. Create an Emotional First-Aid Kit 🧺

Before the next relapse, build a self-soothing toolkit. It might include:

A favorite calming tea
An inspiring book or podcast
A weighted blanket
A list of affirmations
A note to yourself from your “strong” days

Have it ready when emotions hit hard, like a personal emergency kit for your spirit.

5. Talk to Someone You Trust 🗣️

You don’t have to go through this alone. Whether it’s a therapist, partner, friend, or online support group, talking it out can make a huge difference. Sometimes you don’t need advice—you just need someone to say, “I hear you.”

6. Reframe the Relapse Narrative 🧠

Instead of thinking, “This relapse ruined everything,” try reframing it:

“This is a setback, not the end.”
“I’ve bounced back before—I can do it again.”
“I’m still me, even on harder days.”

This doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine. It means giving your brain a more empowering story to work with.

7. Allow Yourself to Grieve Without Guilt 😢

Flare-ups can mean lost independence, canceled plans, or a hit to your self-confidence. Grieving that is healthy. Allow yourself space to cry, journal, or rest—without judging yourself. Emotional pain is valid and deserves compassion.

8. Track Emotional Triggers and Patterns 📓

Keep a “flare-up diary” to note not just symptoms, but also emotions. Over time, you may see patterns: Do certain symptoms make you more anxious? Do specific people stress you more when you're flaring? Awareness empowers action.

9. Celebrate the Micro-Wins 🎉

In relapse mode, getting out of bed or making tea might feel monumental. That’s okay—progress is relative. Celebrate those tiny wins, and they’ll build emotional momentum.

10. Use Professional Support If Needed 🧑

If emotions during a relapse become too overwhelming—especially if you experience hopelessness, panic attacks, or suicidal thoughts—reach out to a mental health professional. MS often co-occurs with depression and anxiety, and therapy or medication can be part of your resilience plan.

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

💬 Real Stories, Real Emotions

Many people with MS describe relapses as emotional ambushes. Here are a few quotes from patients:

“I always feel like I’m going backward during a relapse. It’s like climbing a mountain and getting knocked down halfway.” – Tanya, 34

“The scariest part isn’t the numbness or the fatigue. It’s the voice in my head that says, ‘What if this time, you won’t bounce back?’” – Jasmine, 42

“I’ve learned that crying doesn’t mean I’m weak. It means I’m letting go of what I can’t control.” – Maria, 29

You are not alone in this journey.

🪨 Anchor Yourself in What Doesn’t Change

When a relapse hits, it feels like everything is shifting. But some things are still within your control:

Your self-talk
Your breathing
The support you allow in
Your resilience routines

These can be your anchor until the storm passes.

🛤️ After the Flare-Up: Emotional Recovery Matters Too

Just like physical rehab, you also need emotional rehab after a relapse. When symptoms improve, don’t rush back to “normal.” Acknowledge what you went through emotionally.

Ask yourself: