Reconnecting with Yourself: Rediscovering Identity After MS

Introduction

When you’re first diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), it can feel like the ground beneath your identity shifts. Suddenly, the roles, passions, and plans that once defined you are called into question. A job you loved may now feel too demanding. Hobbies that once brought joy may seem physically out of reach. The freedom to come and go as you please? Now weighed down by unpredictable symptoms.

You may find yourself asking:
“Who am I now?”

The answer isn’t simple—and it shouldn’t be. Rediscovering your identity after an MS diagnosis is a deeply personal and ongoing journey. It’s not about going “back to normal.” It’s about finding a new, empowered normal—one rooted in your values, resilience, and self-worth.

In this article, you’ll explore:

Why MS shakes our sense of identity
How to grieve the “old you” while honoring who you are now
Practical ways to reconnect with your authentic self
Exercises and mindset shifts to guide you toward self-acceptance

Looking for online therapy? Click here.

🎭 Why MS Can Disrupt Your Identity

Our identities are shaped by what we do, how we relate to others, and what we believe we’re capable of. But MS—unpredictable, invisible, and chronic—can challenge all three.

You may feel like:

You’re no longer the “reliable friend”
You can’t be the “active parent” or “productive professional”
Your sense of control, confidence, or independence has eroded

This disruption often brings deep grief—not just over lost abilities, but over a lost sense of self.

💔 Grieving the Old You: A Necessary Step

Grief isn’t just for death—it’s for any major loss. And the version of you that existed before MS? She deserves to be honored.

Common feelings during this phase:

Sadness: Mourning roles, energy levels, or physical freedom
Anger: At your body, the healthcare system, or fate
Guilt: For not being able to show up how you used to
Denial: Wanting to pretend MS isn’t “that bad”

Give yourself permission to feel it all. Grieving is not giving up. It’s making space for what’s next.

🧭 Step One: Name the Parts You Miss

Try this exercise:

📝 Write down aspects of your pre-MS identity you miss. Examples:

“I was spontaneous.”
“I took pride in being the strong one.”
“I felt confident at work.”
“I loved dancing.”

Then ask:

Which of these can be reimagined—not erased?

For example:

“I can still be spontaneous—just in smaller, more flexible ways.”
“I’m strong in new ways now—like emotionally.”
“I may work differently, but I still bring value.”
“I can find new ways to express joy through movement.”

This is the first step in rediscovering you.

🧠 Step Two: Separate Who You Are from What You Do

Our culture loves to equate identity with productivity. But you are not your job, your mobility, or your ability to do it all.

You are:

Your compassion
Your humor
Your creativity
Your way of seeing the world
Your resilience

MS may change what you do—but it can’t take away who you are. In fact, it may reveal more of who you’ve always been beneath the noise.

💬 Step Three: Rewrite Your Self-Talk

If your inner voice sounds like:

“I’m not who I used to be”
“I’m a burden now”
“I’m broken”
...then your identity is being shaped by self-criticism—not truth.

Replace those with:

“I am evolving.”
“I deserve support.”
“My worth isn’t defined by my energy level.”

Try saying aloud each morning:

“I am still me. I am allowed to grow, grieve, and reinvent.”

🎨 Step Four: Explore Your Identity Beyond MS

Let MS be part of your story—but not the whole book.

Rediscover:

🌱 What lights you up? What new hobbies, causes, or interests feel exciting?
🤝 How do you connect? Are there support groups or communities where you feel seen?
✍️ How do you express yourself? Through writing, painting, gardening, humor?

This is your chance to build a richer, deeper identity—one forged through experience, strength, and vulnerability.

🧘 Step Five: Reconnect with Your Body, Gently

Many people with MS struggle with feeling disconnected from their body. But healing your identity includes building a new relationship with your physical self.

Try:

Gentle yoga or somatic practices
Daily touch rituals (hand on heart, a warm bath, stretching)
Speaking to your body with kindness (“Thank you for carrying me today.”)
Breathwork; Click here to try.

You don’t have to love your body to start respecting it again. Trust comes slowly—with presence and compassion.

🪞 Step Six: Visualize Your Reclaimed Identity

Try this guided visualization:

Close your eyes and picture a future version of yourself—not “cured” or “perfect,” but at peace.
What is she wearing? How is she moving? What is she doing that brings her joy?
What qualities does she embody—confidence, creativity, calm?

Write down what you saw. This vision can guide your small steps forward. You’re not trying to be the “old you.” You’re becoming a truer you.

💡 Step Seven: Reclaim Language That Empowers You

Words matter. Start noticing how you talk about your illness and yourself.

Instead of:
❌ “I suffer from MS.”
Try:
✅ “I live with MS.” or “I navigate MS.”

Instead of:
❌ “I’m not the person I was.”
Try:
✅ “I’m discovering new parts of myself.”

Claiming language that empowers you is a key part of identity healing.

📖 Real-Life Examples: What Identity Recovery Looks Like

➤ Maya, 34

Before MS: A dancer and fitness instructor.
After diagnosis: Felt lost, angry, and disconnected from her body.
Now: Teaches accessible movement classes online, writes poetry about her experience, and has created an MS support blog.

“I didn’t lose myself. I evolved. I just had to meet the new version of me.”

➤ Jade, 42

Before MS: A fast-paced corporate exec who worked 60-hour weeks.
After diagnosis: Burnout, guilt, fear of being “less valuable.”
Now: Works part-time from home, volunteers with a disability rights group, and has started painting.

“Slowing down made space for passions I never knew I had.”

➤ Carla, 29

Before MS: “The strong one” in her family, always independent.
After diagnosis: Felt shame for needing help.
Now: Embraces interdependence and is an advocate for mental health in the MS community.