Reclaiming Joy When It Feels Out of Reach

Introduction

Living with a chronic illness like Multiple Sclerosis (MS) can make joy feel like a distant memory. When you’re exhausted, in pain, or dealing with emotional burnout, happiness might seem unreachable — like a song you once knew the words to but can’t quite hum anymore.

But joy is not gone.
It’s not lost forever.
It’s just hiding — waiting for you to reclaim it in new ways.

This article is for the days when joy feels like too much to ask. For the moments when you wonder, “Will I ever feel light again?” The answer is yes — but it might come softly, quietly, and in ways you never expected.

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🧠 Why Joy Can Feel So Far Away with MS

Joy is not just an emotion — it’s a state of openness. But MS often closes doors, both physically and emotionally:

Fatigue limits energy to do joyful things
Pain overshadows simple pleasures
Depression and anxiety dull positive emotions
Grief over lost abilities clouds the present
Uncertainty about the future creates emotional numbness

When you're in survival mode, joy doesn’t feel like a priority — it feels like a luxury. And that’s okay.

But you deserve joy.
Even if you’re struggling.
Even if things are hard.
Even if nothing feels okay right now.

💡 What Joy Looks Like Now Might Be Different — and That’s Okay

Before MS, maybe joy looked like:

Dancing all night
Spontaneous travel
Long hikes
Laughing with friends over brunch

After MS, maybe joy now looks like:

Sitting in the sun with a good book
Watching birds outside your window
Creating art with your hands
Laughing softly at a meme
Having one meaningful conversation

Joy doesn't have to be loud to be real.
Sometimes, it’s a whisper. A flicker. A breath.

🛑 The Myth of “Toxic Positivity”

Let’s be clear:
This is not an article about forcing yourself to “just be grateful” or slapping on a fake smile.

Toxic positivity sounds like:

“At least it’s not worse.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“You just need to stay positive.”

That’s not joy — that’s denial.

True joy comes with your pain, not instead of it.

You can feel frustrated and hopeful.
You can cry and laugh in the same day.
You can grieve and grow.

🧭 Step 1: Redefine What Joy Means to You Now

Start here:

“What does joy look like for me, with the life I have now?”

Try not to compare it to the past or to others’ highlight reels on social media. Your joy is allowed to look different.

Maybe it's:

A moment of relief from pain
A small success like walking farther today
A cozy routine that brings peace
Feeling understood by someone
Laughing at a silly TikTok while in bed

Write down a list of small joys that still feel possible. Keep it somewhere visible.

✍️ Step 2: Journal the Joy You’ve Already Had

Joy often slips by unnoticed. Here’s a powerful prompt:

“What are 5 joyful moments I’ve had in the past month — no matter how small?”

You might be surprised at what comes up:

A comforting cup of tea
A kind comment on your post
A moment when your symptoms eased
A funny conversation with your pet
A memory that made you smile

Joy leaves breadcrumbs. Follow them.

🎨 Step 3: Engage Your Senses

When you're overwhelmed mentally, go back to the body. Joy is often felt through the senses.

Try:

Touch: Soft blankets, warm baths, a hug
Sight: Nature scenes, favorite colors, calming lights
Sound: Music, laughter, birdsong
Smell: Candles, essential oils, fresh sheets
Taste: Your favorite snack, a new recipe, herbal tea

Sensory joy is immediate, grounding, and healing.

🎧 Step 4: Create a Joy Playlist (Even If You’re Crying)

Music has a direct line to emotion. Create a playlist called:

🎵 “Joy, Come Back to Me”

Include:

Songs that make you want to move
Songs from childhood
Songs with empowering lyrics
Instrumentals that soothe

Even if you cry while listening, that's okay — it means you're opening up again.

🤗 Step 5: Let People In (Even Just a Little)

Isolation is joy’s enemy. And MS often isolates — physically, emotionally, socially.

You don’t need a big social circle, but connection is key. Try:

Texting one person a day
Joining an MS support group (online or local)
Talking honestly with a friend
Asking for a small favor or check-in

Letting someone witness your journey — without fixing it — is a form of joy.

🌻 Step 6: Start a "Joy Practice"

Just like gratitude or mindfulness, joy can be a practice.

Try:

A Joy Jar: Write down one joyful thing each day and place it in a jar
A Joy Sketchbook: Doodle what made you smile
A Joy Photo Album: Save pictures of joyful memories or moments

Some days, the practice might feel silly. But over time, it builds emotional muscle — a reminder that joy is possible again.

😔 What If You Feel Nothing?

Some days, you won’t feel joy.
Some days, even trying feels too hard.
That’s part of the journey too.

In those moments:

Be gentle with yourself
Don’t force anything
Focus on comfort, not joy
Say: “Right now, I’m surviving — and that’s enough.”

Remember, numbness isn’t failure. It’s often your body protecting you. Trust that joy will return when it’s safe again.

✨ Joy in the “In-Between” Moments

You don’t have to wait for a “good MS day” to feel joy.

Look for it in:

That first sip of coffee
The moment you crawl into bed
The stretch of light in the afternoon
A new episode of your favorite show
A stranger’s smile

Joy hides in ordinary things. You don’t have to chase it — you can notice it.

🖼️ Try This: A “Joy Vision Board”

Create a digital or physical collage of:

People who make you laugh
Colors that bring calm
Places that feel peaceful
Quotes that make you feel alive

Hang it somewhere visible — a reminder that joy is not gone, just waiting to be invited back in.

💬 Real Quotes from the MS Community

“I used to think joy had to be big. Now I find it in the quiet. A good book. A friend checking in. That’s real joy.”
— Ana, 39

“Laughter is my medicine. It doesn’t cure MS, but it keeps me going.”
— James, 47

“I cried for weeks after my diagnosis. Then one day, I heard a song I loved and I sang for the first time in months. That was my turning point.”
— Layla, 29

📘 Affirmations for Reclaiming Joy

Say them out loud or write them down:

“Joy is still available to me.”
“I deserve moments of light.”
“Even in struggle, I am worthy of happiness.”
“Small joys are still real joys.”
“My illness does not define my ability to feel joy.”

🌅 Final Thoughts: Joy Is Not a Destination — It’s a Practice

You don’t have to “fix” your life to feel joy.
You don’t have to wait for the pain to stop.
You just have to be open — even a little.

Joy doesn’t erase your struggle — it coexists with it.
It reminds you of who you are beyond the diagnosis.
It helps you come back to yourself — again and again.

So today, ask yourself gently: